Engagement party invitation wording

An engagement party invitation is easier than a wedding invitation and people make it harder. There is no ceremony to explain, no seating plan riding on the reply, and nobody expects formality. It has to do two things: say that you are getting married, and get people to a room.

The four lines#

1. Something has happened.
2. Come and mark it with us.
3. Where and when.
4. Tell us if you are coming.

That is the whole structure. The variation is in the first line, and it is the one worth spending five minutes on, because it is the sentence people will read out to whoever is in the room with them.

Warm#

We are engaged.

Come and drink something with us before the sensible planning starts.

Eleanor & Thomas
Saturday 4 October, from 7pm
The Anchor, Bristol

Hosted by parents#

Still common, and it changes the first line rather than the shape.

Marianne and James Whitfield
invite you to celebrate the engagement of their daughter

Eleanor
to Thomas Adeyemi

Saturday 4 October, 7pm
32 Elmfield Road, Bristol

A dinner rather than a party#

If there are places at a table, say so. A guest who thinks they can drop in for an hour will drop in for an hour.

Dinner, to tell you our news properly.

Eleanor & Thomas
Friday 3 October, 7.30 for 8
Ostara, 14 King Street

Please reply by 20 September so we can hold the table.

A surprise#

Two rules. Put the secret at the top where it cannot be missed, and give an arrival time that is earlier than the real one.

Shh. Thomas does not know.

Please arrive by 6.45pm. Eleanor will bring him at 7.15.

The Anchor, Bristol, Saturday 4 October

Five details people forget#

• Whether there is food. Guests will decide whether to eat first, and they will resent guessing wrong in either direction.
• Whether there are children. Say it as an invitation, not a restriction. Bring the small ones, or Leave the small ones, both work.
• Gifts. Most people bring something to an engagement party unless told otherwise. If you would rather they did not, one line does it: your company is the whole of it.
• What to wear. Only if it is not obvious from the venue.
• A reply date. Yes, even for drinks. See collecting replies without chasing anyone.

What it is quietly doing#

This is the first thing you send as a couple, and it is the first time your guest list exists as a list. Two useful side effects, if you use them. You find out which addresses are wrong nine months before it matters, and you find out who replies instantly and who never does.

Keep that list. The same names, in the same order, are the ones you will be sending the wedding invitation to.